Maybe the Native Americans Will Save our Asses

We planted a potato this year. And despite our Irish ancestry, our harvest was less than, um, bountiful. If we were among the original settlers in the New World, you could pretty much guarantee we would be the last of our line. Forget making it through the winter, we wouldn't have made it to opening week of the NFL season. (I wonder if the Bengals were as terrible then as they are now?)

Here are the whopping three delicious looking potatoes we hauled in this year.

Not exactly enough to feed a family of six.

And by family of six, I mean six mice.

Yes, those are actual Idaho potatoes (as grown in Ohio).

Julie thinks it's hysterical. Truman wants to know if I grew them small on purpose. Jameson thinks we're going to starve. Personally, I'm optimistic. By this time next year I bet I'll be growing potatoes the size of quarters.

Office Life

Sometimes I miss my old corporate life.  The professionalism, the sense of accomplishment, the relationship building. Oh yeah, and threatening Paul with pseudo karate moves.

And see that little pink badge in the upper right hand corner?  Click on it every day to vote for the Fall of James as your favorite "Parents with Multiples" blog.  I'm probably the only dude on the list - just trying to break through the LCD ceiling.

My Apologies

I am so, so, so sorry for posting this. You can thank Facebook for my discovery of it.

Men, do not watch while eating. Or standing. Or sitting down. Or breathing.

Rain Cometh

Golf outing = FAIL!

Not That Kind of Cox

I almost forgot. Cox Arboretum is also a great place for teenagers creepy old people to make out in public.

Announcement #1

I have two very important announcements to make.

Announcement #1: I've grown a beard.


I've gone down this road before, but usually it's been a half-assed attempt that really should be classified as temporary shaving laziness. It never lasted more than a week or two and could barely qualify as a beard. This time it's for reals. And after several weeks now, it's really started to grow on me. (Oh hells yeah that pun was intended.) What I've got going is no Chuck Norris, and I have no delusions of ever growing a beard as ass-kicking as his. Right now I'd say it's somewhere between James Lipton and gay porn. I may let it go a little while longer even though it makes no sense as summer weather looms. I think I can go to the point where I could pass for a fish stick hawker (or maybe at least a Phish concertgoer).

Yes, I know beards have not been in style for quite some time. And mine doesn't look particularly good. And all but two people questioned on the subject have recommended that I immediately shave it off. (The two that didn't recommend shaving only said "do whatever the hell you want" followed by some muttering that sounded like "idiot.") But I don't care. It's my inalienable right as a man and as someone who can't grow hair on top of his head. Plus I know my girly little brother Kip couldn't grow anything nearly as manly as mine so I'm sure he's way jealous. It's true, no one holds the door for me at the daycare anymore, but it's a small price to pay. For the time being, the beard is staying.

Some beard knowledge* for y'all:

-The study of beards is called pogonology.
-The last U.S. President with facial hair was William Howard Taft, who was in office until 1913. Currently, not one Senator has facial hair.
- In ancient India, the beard was allowed to grow long as a symbol of dignity and of wisdom.
- In 1698, Peter the Great of Russia ordered men to shave off their beards, and in 1705 levied a tax on beards in order to bring Russian society more in line with contemporary Western Europe.
- Some Jews refrain from shaving during the 30-day mourning period after the death of a close relative, known in Hebrew as the "Sheloshim."
- Playoff beard is a tradition common on teams in the National Hockey League and now in other leagues where players allow their beards to grow from the beginning of the playoff season until the playoffs are over for their team.
- St. Clement of Alexandria quote: "This, then, is the mark of the man, the beard. It is older than Eve. It is the token of the superior nature….It is therefore unholy to desecrate the symbol of manhood, hairiness."
- In the late 60s and early 70s it was damn near impossible to get laid without a beard.

As for Announcement #2... stay tuned.

*Beard knowledge brought to you by Wikipedia. Mostly.