Friendly Neighborhood Housecleaning Man

Even Spider-Man has chores.

Spider-Man, Spider-Man,

Does whatever a spider can

Vacuums cobwebs, any size,

Washes windows, sucks up flies.

Look Out!

Here cleans the Spider-Man.

Is he thorough?

Listen bud,

He's got cleaning in his blood.

Can he make up his own bed?

Take a look at that bedspread.

Hey, there

There cleans the Spider-Man.

In the chill of night

At the scene of some grime

Like a streak of light

He arrives just in time.

Spider-Man, Spider-Man

Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man

Sloth and leisure

He's ingnored

Hypoallergenic is his reward.

To him, life is a great big clean up

Whenever there's a mess up

You'll find the Spider-Man.

My Apologies

I am so, so, so sorry for posting this. You can thank Facebook for my discovery of it.

Men, do not watch while eating. Or standing. Or sitting down. Or breathing.

Maybe He's Born with It

Truman has got some serious eyelashes. They're epic. I don't even know how he can see through them.




And he knew how to use them at a very young age. (See the :30 mark in the video.) When he grows up, I hope he uses them for good, not evil. The force is strong with this one.

Wonder Twin Powers... Activate!

Sometimes I forget that Truman and Amelia are twins. Things are always so busy around here that I'm usually just focused on the fact that I have a bunch of kids running around. The last thing on my mind is the fact that two of them were born together.

When I do stop and think about it, I always consider how unique it is that Amelia and Truman are twins. They shared a womb for eight months. They entered this world mere minutes apart. They spend every night sleeping a few feet away from one another. They're a part of each other's lives in a way that us singletons could never experience or understand.

But where the hell are all the cool twin powers already?

The twins aren't inseparable. They're nothing alike. They don't have a secret language only they understand. They don't feel each other's pain. They don't complete each other's sentences. They don't pretend to be one another with zany, madcap antics that bewilder their unknowing dates at the local movieplex. They mostly just terrorize each other.

Which makes me wonder if Truman and Amelia aren't ordinary twins. I hope they become the best of friends, but right now Truman would rather bite Amelia and Amelia would rather steal and hide Truman's pants. In looks, Truman and Jameson are the twins. In personality, Amelia and Jameson are the twins. It's all very confusing. Maybe their twin powers won't show up until they stumble upon some weird alien crystal or a canister of radioactive green slime. Or maybe it happens when they hit puberty.

There are two times, though, when I do get a glimpse of that special twin bond. When they are conspiring to get into trouble. And when they read together. Maybe there's still hope for some cool telepathic powers. (Vegas, here we come.)