Full Metal Stand Mixer

This is my mixer. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My mixer is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my mixer is useless. Without my mixer, I am useless. I must add my ingredients true. I must blend smoother than my neighbor, who is trying to out-bake me. I must cream the butter and sugar before I add the eggs. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my mixer and myself are defenders of my kitchen, we are the masters of our recipes, we are the saviors of my desserts. So be it, until there is no hunger, but peace. Amen.


[apologies to Stanley Kubrick]

Staying home to be a full time caregiver for the last three years may have warped my mind. Just a little.

Five Little Words

Wondering what it's like to be a stay-at-home-dad?

Well, this is it.

I Love Taking Pictures

I was going to reply to some recent comments about my photography, but it started to get so long that I decided to turn it into a full blown post. A very long post.

First, thank you for the kind words. I think my photography has improved immensely over the years (especially since having kids). It's one of those skills, especially with a vast resource like the internet, that you can develop on your own and at your own pace and see meaningful growth. It's probably one of the main reasons that 83% of stay-at-home-parent-bloggers list photography as a hobby. I figured it's either learn to take pictures or learn to code iPhone apps. (I'll get to that eventually, I'm sure.)

Yes, I'm still shooting with my trusty Minolta. I did my usual months upon months of research when I bought my first film SLR and went with Minolta. Love that camera. Then when I decided to go digital I did more months of research and decided to stay with Minolta (plus I didn't want to buy all new lenses compatible with a different manufacturer's mounting system). It was unfortunate that Minolta sold their camera business to Sony. Sony made many of Minolta's components, so it wasn't a big technological shake up, but something still changed. Sony still makes a great product -- my sister has one of the Sony DSLRs birthed from the Minolta buy and she takes gorgeous photos with it. I think it was mostly the vibe that changed. Minolta users seem to be a fiercely loyal group with great passion for photography. Minolta understood that and had a cult-like following. I think Sony knows that, too, but they are fully entrenched in the SLR pissing contest with Canon and Nikon. They're still making good cameras, just without the warm fuzzy feelings.

My current equipment (and Amazon price):

Konica Minolta Maxxum 5D 6.1MP DSLR (Body Only)  ($325 used) - I love this camera. Simple to use, with a great button layout/manual control, she's a 6.1 megapixel wonder from 2005. (Megapixel counts are definitely not the end all, be all in DSLRs.)  This camera has taken plenty of abuse and still works wonderfully. One of the reasons I went with the Minolta is the anti-shake mechanism in the body. It works well and means that any and all lenses get the benefit of anti-shake. Canon and Nikon add the anti-shake feature on a lens by lens basis so you pay extra for any lens with that feature. Sony has continued to include anti-shake in their camera bodies as opposed to the lenses. This camera does lack some of the newer DSLR features and is a little on the slow side when it comes to autofocus and metering, but all in all I think it takes great photos.

Sony 50mm f/1.8 SAM DT Lens  ($149 new) - Fast (big aperture) lenses can be extremely expensive, even in the thousands of dollars range. But, much like my camera, I went with a less expensive but good enough option. I haven't had this lens very long, but so far I have zero complaints. At the very least, it creates much better images than the kit lens that came with the camera. I could have bought a comparable yet higher tiered lens for almost $400, but I'm not sure how much better the results could be with my camera.

So that's it. No external flashes. No diffusers. Basically, you could buy my current rig for under $500. I have a tripod, but I only break that out for paid portraiture gigs. I have a kit lens and a zoom lens, too, but I don't really use those anymore. I have a long, long, long way to go until I'm a master of my current gear, so I don't really see much point in spending on upgraded equipment. My photos have way more room for improvement due to my skill development rather than better equipment. Ultimately it's the photographer, not the equipment that takes great photos. Sure, at some point I'll probably outgrow my Minolta, especially if my professional aspirations continue to advance. Shooting portraits can definitely benefit from a speedier camera and an external flash is number one on my wish list right now. In the meantime though, I'll stick with what I have until it wears out.

Now about the pictures -- I think my photos have been getting better as of late, which I can attribute to three things:

1) Learning how to process the files. I had no idea how bad of a hack I was until I started researching editing on the internet. I use Aperture to process my RAW files. The software is plenty user friendly, but I had no idea how in depth it is when it comes to editing. I've still got a long way to go in learning how to use the software and how to use it effectively.

2) Buying a prime lens. My old go-to lens had a maximum aperture of f/3.5 while the new lens is f/1.8. That's a ton more leeway on lighting. There's no zoom with this lens so it requires more legwork, but it's so much more flexible when it comes to lighting. That flexibility is crucial since I'm operating with a pop-up flash as opposed to an attached strobe light.

3) Learning how to really use the camera. I've had this camera for 5 or so years now and I'm still learning how to use it to its fullest potential. I typically shoot in aperture priority mode with manual ISO settings (I set the aperture, the camera sets the shutter speed), but there is so much more to it than that. Color profiles, white balance, exposure compensation, metering mode, autofocus settings, bracketing... plenty to keep me busy for awhile.

Now while I've been making great strides on the technical side of things, the real challenge is on the artistic side. No matter how proficient I am with the camera and no matter how sweet my gear is or isn't, the real mountain to climb is developing an eye for composition. In some ways, composing the shot is everything. A great photographer can take awesome pictures with a disposable camera because they have the eye for capturing great shots. There are guidelines and tips that help, but those will only take you to "good." There's no handbook for getting to "great." For all I know, it might be impossible to even train yourself up to "great." Maybe you are just born with it or maybe you aren't. I hope not. I think I know it when I see greatness in other people's photographs, so I'm at least encouraged by that fact. I'm not exactly sure how you personally make the leap up, but my current course of action is to look at TONS of great photos and take lots of not so great photos. My RSS reader is full of blogs that I follow because the blogger takes great photos. On a daily basis I look at dozens of photos from photographers I admire. I examine, I compare, I critique. Again and again and again. I hope it's slowly sinking into my brain. I hope my eye is changing, getting stronger.

Maybe I've peaked. Maybe not. Either way, it's not that important. I love taking pictures.

Dude, I'm Totally Baked

Oops. I forgot about the potatoes in the pantry. Again.

A Day in Photos

When I look through old posts on this here blog, I'm amazed at all the things I've documented and have already forgotten. It's one of the things that motivates me to keep blogging -- if I wasn't writing things down here I might barely have any recollection of the past few years of my life. I don't keep a journal, scrapbooking sounds torturous and I don't think I've written a single thing down in any of our kids' baby books. This is it.

One of the things I've always wanted to do is document a whole day with photos. I break out the camera all the time for noteworthy events, special days and random moments, but I've never taken the time to try capturing an entire nonspecific, run-of-the-mill day in the life of James. After reading another blogger's day in photos endeavor, I got motivated to tackle this project myself.

Before climbing into bed Thursday night, I set my camera on my nightstand in preparation for taking one photo, every hour, for an entire day. These are the results.

Friday, May 27, 2011

7:44 AM - Jameson obliges me by snapping the first photo of the day. Like most mornings, Amelia has finagled her way into my bed.

8:52 AM - Multiple bowls of Cheerios and bananas are served. I think my kids would eat this for breakfast every day if given the option.

9:45 AM - "Hereyago, Dadda. Hork!" Darwin earns his keep by helping me unload the dishwasher.

10:54 AM - One of the best parts of the day. LEGOs. Peace and civility reign for a solid hour.

11:53 AM - Someone doesn't care for Dad's leftover homemade chicken noodle soup for lunch.

12:48 PM - An hour later, Caillou is on, all chicken noodle soup transgressions are forgiven.

2:01 PM - Craft time! Let's color calaveras!

3:02 PM - Bring out the heavy artillery. We need some oatmeal raisin cookies up in this house.

3:58 PM - New shoes arrive in the mail! Two year old pseudo-Crocs can finally be retired.

4:59 PM - Some final outdoor fun before dinner.

5:58 PM - Sloppy joes for dinner. No protests from anyone.

7:06 PM - Oatmeal cookies mixed hours ago finally get baked. (And maybe one or four get eaten.)

8:09 PM - It's Friday night and Mom and Dad are headed out... maybe this isn't a typical day.

9:10 PM - Dinner part II. Mmmm, meat.

10:02 PM - Jason Bateman in the Horrible Bosses preview. May have to see this just for Charlie Day alone.

11:05 PM - Tonight's feature: The Hangover Part II. Hope the MPAA doesn't find out I was snapping photos...

12:27 AM - Back home and apparently ending my day much like how it began.

Office Life

Sometimes I miss my old corporate life.  The professionalism, the sense of accomplishment, the relationship building. Oh yeah, and threatening Paul with pseudo karate moves.

And see that little pink badge in the upper right hand corner?  Click on it every day to vote for the Fall of James as your favorite "Parents with Multiples" blog.  I'm probably the only dude on the list - just trying to break through the LCD ceiling.

SAHD - Day 665

I think it's safe to say I'm fully entrenched in the stay at home dad business - especially with baby number five on the way. A couple months from now I'll be crossing the two year point since I quit my corporate gig to stay home full time with my kids. We thought long and hard about that decision and agonized for months over what we were actually going to do. Now it seems like the answer should have been obvious. It hasn't been easy, but it was clearly the right decision for our family. In the 665 days since then, I've learned a lot about myself, about my kids and about laundry.

I love being a stay at home dad. Here are some of the things I've learned, observed and discovered since becoming one.

I have more patience than I ever realized. I always thought I was a fairly laid back person, but my patience muscles have been seriously exercised since taking on the full time parenting gig.

I have more of a temper than I ever realized. But when my patience wears thin... look out.

You can't let a three year old girl comb her own hair with one of those stupid 360 degree round brushes. You know those brushes with bristles all the way around? Those things should come with warnings. Amelia can get her hair irreparably knotted around one of these devices in under four seconds.

Silence is not golden. Silence is cause for alarm. Silence is the last thing I want to hear. Silence means someone is focused on getting into some serious trouble. Like cutting their own hair. Or stuffing golf balls in the toilet.

Children are often less logical than pregnant women. It's close, but at least pregnant women don't stick jelly beans up their noses for no apparent reason.

Kids remember. They always remember.  You know when you promised them at age three that when they turned five they could have their own pack of bubble gum? You might as well etch that stuff in stone.

I can make pancakes without looking at a recipe. In fact, I have my own made up recipe. And they're the bomb.

I can grocery shop with four small children. I get lots and lots of looks, but the grocery store staff has at least gotten used to us. One time at Walmart, a woman yelled from across the parking lot, "YOU GO, DADDEEEEEE!"

The bar for dad parenting skills is set way, way, wayyyyy low. Seriously low. See above. I can be in the grocery store at the same time as a mother with more kids than me and I'll get no less than half a dozen "compliments" on my bravery while she won't get a second glance. At the grocery store, the doctor's office, the library, the park -- pretty much any public place -- if I have more than two kids with me, I'm guaranteed to get comments from someone concerning my ability to parent. "Wow, you're brave." "My husband could never do that." "Do you need help?" "Dad of the year!" My personal favorite, though, is "What did your wife do to get the day off?"

Preparation is key. Being a stay-at-home parent is almost exactly like being a restaurant manager. The more you do to prepare for each day the easier it will be to handle the challenges that inevitably pop up. Right after college I managed a restaurant for a few years and the parallels between that job and this one are incredible. The stress and chaos are so similar, as are the means for dealing with them. The big difference is I can't fire my kids and I can't blame my woes on the manager from the prior shift.

Laundry is the killer. With this many people in one house, no other task occupies nearly as much time as collecting, sorting, washing, drying, folding and putting away the laundry. I need a better system.

Systems are key. This is also a restaurant management principle. It's my nature to want to have systems for everything and for those systems to constantly be refined for maximum efficiency. It's the only way I can effectively manage my days with the kids.

Repetition is key. The more an activity becomes a routine, the easier it is to manage the kids during said activity. Grocery shopping with all four kids is usually a smooth affair because we do it every week. I know what to expect, they know what to expect and together we're fairly proficient at it.

Potty training is overrated. Sort of. Yes, changing diapers is a tiresome chore. But, I like to spend a lot of our day out of the house. Before potty training, that meant we had the freedom to do what we wanted when we wanted and we just had to be prepared to change an occasional diaper in the car. Post potty training it means ten minutes of bathroom breaks every time before we leave the house, monitoring fluid intake away from home, and potentially visiting some less than savory public restrooms with two, three or even four young kids. And Miss Amelia is notorious for exclaiming, "I have to poop!" the moment she spies a Target. What the hell?

Life is harder for the working parent. I think it's no contest. I can by physically, mentally and/or emotionally drained at the end of the day, but when it comes down to it I'm spending time with my kids and just thinking about how much I love them and how lucky I am to have them gives me all the motivation I need to keep going. I don't miss office life one bit. Working outside the home can have all the stress and demands of staying at home, but it has the added stress of always being away from the ones you love the most in the world.

Free and Clear

I'm doing laundry in the buff tonight.

Believe me, it's not a pretty picture. (Amelia recently informed me that my belly is "pushy.") Why the naked chores? Well, it's not a kinky Valentine's Day gift for Julie or anything. It's because I HAVE NO CHOICE. Washing laundry has got to be the single lamest resposibility that comes with the at home parent career. It's monotonous. It's soul sapping. It. Never. Ends. And the biggest thorn of all is that even when you put that very last load in the washer you still aren't done. You can't storm your aircraft carrier, "mission accomplished" banners a-waving, because the sad fact remains that at that moment you are still wearing more clothes that need to be washed.

But tonight I will claim victory. Every last soiled garment, bib, pillow case -- and all of their bretheren -- will be laundered. Everything down to the socks on my feet will be cleaned. And I will have my glory. Well, that's assuming I can convince Julie that I need her to take her clothes off for more noble purposes than as a kinky Valentine's Day gift for me.

Oh, and please pray that Julie's parents don't come home while I'm doing my victory dance in front of their washer and dryer. No one wants that mission accomplished.

Secrets of a Stay at Home Dad

So how does a stay at home dad with three year old multiples stay on top of things? With child labor, that's how. If they can pick up a sponge, there is no reason not to put their mess making little keisters to work. It's a win-win situation: they get their character built and I get a clean house while I'm checking Facebook.

Kids crave structure and responsibility and household chores provide both. There's a sense of accomplishment that comes from a floor off which you can eat. And believe me, if anyone knows about eating off of floors, it's my kids.

Don't worry, it's not like this is slave labor. I pay my kids a lucrative salary of Goldfish crackers with an annual performance bonus of Dum-Dum Pops.

This Won't Hurt a Bit

I've taken all four kids many places on my own.  The park.  The grocery store.  Target.  But this morning I'm really pushing my toddler management skills.  I'm flying solo as I take all four kids to the doctor.  And all four are receiving shots.

There's a 10% chance this goes off without a hitch.
There's a 40% chance that panic induced hysteria breaks out after the first shot.
There's a 100% chance of lollipops all around.

I'm Not Surprised. At All.

I recently mentioned that snoozing on the at-home parent job can lead to problems.  (See #5.)  Well, of course, my comment about hair being cut turned out to be prophetic.  Less than two weeks later, a certain Miss Amelia took advantage of a moment of lax supervision to experiment with cutting her own hair.  I knew it was going to happen sooner or later and Amelia did not disappoint.  The funny thing is, her new haircut completely fits her personality.  Yes, it's a little ridiculous looking, but she's quite proud of her handiwork and it's now a constant reminder of the independent little teenager I'm raising.  Too bad she won't actually be a teenager for another decade.

So proud of herself.

If I hadn't caught her in the act, I'm sure much more hair would be gone.

Celebrating her achievement with some cold milk.
(Yes, in a Budweiser glass.)

Whenever she's asked what she did to her hair, she simply replies, "It's beautiful."

It's too bad she didn't start with the kid who actually needs a haircut.
Coulda saved me a trip to the barber.

Thank Heaven for the Park

Life can be stressful.  Especially with four young kids.  Especially when you're trying to build a new house.  Especially when you're living with your in-laws.  Especially when you're a stay at home parent.

In reality, these are very good circumstances in which to find oneself.  But it can be stressful nonetheless.

There is, however, one place where all that stress disappears.  The park.

Specifically, the park near our current, temporary residence.  It has become my sanctuary.  At the park, there are no toys to fight over.  There are no meals to prepare.  There are no bills to pay.  There are no towering piles of laundry.  There are no decisions to be made.  There are no in-laws to bump elbows with.  There are no rivalries.  There are no confines.

But there is a bench where I can actually sit down for more than a minute at a time.  It's heaven.

And it's where I chose to spend Fathers Day this year.

Puddle Jumpers Anonymous

It's become an addiction for these three. But what else are you going to do on a day like this?

No One Ever Crapped in My Office

Being a stay at home dad pretty much rocks. I get to gallivant around with my kids all day, taking hikes, eating ice cream sundaes, feeding goats -- you know, the finer things in life. I'm my own boss and the only people I really answer to can be wrestled to the ground with ease.

But every now and then, to keep balance in the universe, one of the kids will take a massive shit on my mother-in-law's brand new carpet and then track it around the entire room for good measure. We wouldn't want me getting too comfortable in this job now would we?

Epic Dinner Fail

It's pork tenderloin.

I don't want to talk about it.



(The kids were happy. They got emergency hot dogs for dinner.)

It's a Narrow Window

The kids have no idea how little I know about bowling. Or many other subjects, for that matter. For now, I am a limitless well of knowledge for them. I'm the Dad. I'm the smartest, fastest, strongest, handsomest, funniest, bravest person they know. I can beat all video games. I can kiss away all injuries. I know how all movies will end. I can play all sports. I can finish all puzzles. I know why animals do what they do. I can build anything. I can cook anything. I know how cars move and planes fly. I can draw the best pictures and build the coolest forts.

I'm pretty awesome.

For now. It's a narrow window. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.

Bend Over and I'll Show You

We are late. About everything. Parties. Movies. Appointments. Menstrual cycles. We are always late.

With one exception. Getting our Christmas tree. We actually get our tree the Friday or Saturday after Thanksgiving and get it decorated within a day or two. We're "live tree" people, which I'm told these days makes us environmentalists. Apparently the fake trees involve so many nasty chemicals that it's better to cut down a real one. Anyway, we rush to get ours up. (Taking it down... that's another story. Hello, Super Bowl Tree!)

I know everyone says this, but the days really fly by at this time of year. My brain is still processing Halloween and here we are only a couple of weeks away from the end of the year. I think having kids only amplifies the sensation of accelerated passage of time. One thing is different this year, though. Despite the days whizzing by, I've been able to enjoy and appreciate this time of year so much more now that I'm staying home with the kids. Back when I was a sucker gainfully employed, the final fleeting days of the year were by far the busiest and most stressful times for me. Last year I would have been relishing the holidays not because of time spent with friends and family but because so many of my coworkers would be taking vacation time of their own. Their absence would mean fewer distractions and encumbrances and I could be more productive. So sad.

Now it's different. Now my "job" is my kids. I get to focus all my attention on them. And that means things like pine trees, twinkle lights, iced cookies and 1960s stop motion animation rather than budgets, sales goals, performance reviews and incentive plans. The days still slip away faster and faster and the stress can be just as immense, but putting up a Christmas tree in November and actually being around to enjoy it with my children is something I should have been doing all along. Now excuse me...

Truman! Leave those ornaments alone! Amelia! Stop sticking your hand in the tree water! No Jameson, you CANNOT have EVERY toy you see on TV!

Yes, Truman is absent here. He opted for napping over Christmas tree selection.


Through my entire childhood I was seriously disappointed that our Christmas tree always fit in the back of our van or station wagon. There's just something about a tree tied to the roof of the car... I'm sure Clark Griswold would agree.


And let's not forget Flyer basketball, one of the best parts of December.


Hopefully Grandpa keeps funneling UD tickets our way.

Weekend Recap: The Aquarium

Let's start out the aquarium visit with germ spreading drums for the kids to pound!


In another life Amelia was married to a goodfella.


Jellyfish creep me out.


Not nearly as scary as a jellyfish.


Jameson peepin' the sharks.


Me petting the sharks.
Exhibit instructions: "Do not place fingers in water until the shark's eyes have passed your hand."
I wonder what happens if they see your fingers dangling in the water?


My ungrateful punk children upon leaving the aquarium.