Community Service

One thing that has definitely been limited by my fathering of children has been my fantasy sports involvement. Basketball was the first to go, though I was never really that into it. Then baseball went by the wayside. Seriously, who has time to make that many lineup changes? Football, however, has been precariously hanging on. Until this year. Now even football could see it's demise and I have my unborn child to thank for that. For you non-fantasy-football-playing readers out there (i.e. productive society), note that most fantasy football drafts are held sometime during the last couple of weeks of August or the first week of September. This time frame also happens to be the sweet spot for when baby number four will likely be born. Actually, it's more like a guarantee. In fact, the most likely scenario would be that just as I'm about to make my first selection of the draft I would get the phone call requesting me to get my ass home because a baby is attempting to vacate my wife's uterus. I'd of course finish making my first pick, but then I'd have to dial in for the rest of the draft trying to stay up to speed between pushes and that would just be a drag for everyone. (Plus, I'd probably get stuck with five shittier than usual wide receivers that I never wanted to begin with.)

So I've already officially bowed out of one of the two fantasy football leagues in which I participate and unless I can find a co-owner who doesn't have a pregnant wife, I may have to drop out of the other one. Which brings me to my community service: I've benevolently decided to start a parents only fantasy football league this year. To accommodate the fathers (and mothers) out there that may be giving up on their fantasy football hopes and dreams, my league will use an online draft (Yahoo!) and will start at night after kiddy bedtimes. Say hello to the After Bedtime Football League. It's the least I can do for all you hardworking moms and dads out there that more than deserve the obnoxious, addictive joy that is fantasy football.




Here are the details:

- It is a 12 team head-to-head league (two divisions) open to any and all parents. First come, first served up until all spots have been filled. If you yourself are not interested, please spread the word.
- If spots are available with less than a week until draft time, remaining spots will be made available to you non-reproducers.
- The draft will be held on September 1st at 8:45 PM Eastern.
- There is no fee to join, but if it goes well this year, maybe next year we'll "make it interesting."
- If you are not available for the draft, you can pre-rank your players and let the computer draft for you.
- If you are interested or have any questions, email me at the address listed to the right.

I Got Smoked

Jameson rolled five 6s in a row. Loaded dice.