It's Officially Time

"Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer..."

First Priority

Forget Black Friday sales... we needed a tree.

Holiday Pictures - Part I

Phase one of Christmas is a Mexican affair on Christmas Eve at Julie's parents' house.

Christmas Eve = a huge, delicious, home cooked, Mexican meal care of Julie's mom.

Jameson leads Christmas craft time as we await the arrival of guests.

Truman decides that "say cheese!" means "close your eyes as tight as possible!"

As my father-in-law always says, "Life is good."

Nothing says Christmas like Coke bottle glasses and hillbilly teeth.

I don't think we managed to scare off my future brother-in-law. But there's still time.

Fake teeth cement Amelia's nickname of "Gelfling." Google it.

Christmas 2010

This past Christmas was, as it has been since we've had kids, a blur. It is a peanut brittle fueled bender that lasts for weeks. It's usually a few days into the new year when consciousness begins to emerge from the holiday fog. As blurry as it was, in many ways, Christmas was a simple affair for us this year. There was no fervent gift shopping -- we gave our kids one gift each, drew one name for an exchange on Julie's side of the family and went in on one gift for my parents on my side of the family. Plus, Julie and I started building our gift to each other months ago (and a new house is too big to wrap). Also, we technically didn't host any parties this year since we were living with the in-laws. But, despite the lack of some of the usual Christmas trappings, the little things still managed to build up enough momentum to make the holiday fly by as if it was hitched to eight tiny reindeer.

With Jameson in school, and me staying at home, I got to look forward to something that I hadn't anticipated in many, many years: Christmas break. I was definitely more excited than Jameson. To him, a day without school is a tragedy. To me, a day without school meant more time with Jameson and less time planning days around half hour trips to school, potty breaks, lunch on the road, naps in the car and rushed dinner prep. Two weeks of freedom from the daily grind made getting back into the groove a little painful. And it fanned the flames of anticipation for getting moved into the new house. (Oh to be in the new house.)

Being the shutterbug that I am, Christmas also brought a back log of several hundred photographs. That's a lot of pictures to sift through, edit, share, etc. But it's a good problem to have. Those images snagged as Christmas streaked by are now my opportunity to sit back with my coffee and a sugar cookie and finally stop and enjoy the holidays.

This Year's Big Miss

Christmas shopping for the kids this year was pretty easy.  We kept it simple.  We made one trek out to the stores and were done after a stop at Office Depot and a stop at Toys R Us.  (What?  Doesn't everyone do their kids' Christmas shopping at Office Depot?)  The Toys R Us shopping was arrogantly gratifying as I headed to the registers with only a few items in my hands as I outmaneuvered parents with as many as THREE shopping carts full of toys.  Three overflowing carts.  Unless you have enough kids to get your own TLC show, that seems a bit excessive.  But whatever... tis the season.

Now despite making some thoughtful gift selections for our family, we have one glaring FAIL on our hands.  The one thing that should be under our tree but isn't: The Angry Mob Playset.

What?!?!

Damn if it isn't too late to truly make this Christmas bright.  An angry mob playset.  What kid couldn't use this in their toy collection?  I don't know how many times our action figure play sessions have come to a halt because we were lacking an angry mob.  "What's that you say, Chewbacca?  Iron Man just pillaged the town and ravished Polly Pocket?  Round up the townsfolk and lets hunt down that cur!"  Oh wait.  We don't have the Angry Mob Playset.

Let's go play Chutes and Ladders instead.

So it looks like this year's Christmas is incomplete.  Thank you, John, for giving me the heads up on the Angry Mob -- there's always next year.

Oh, and if the Angry Mob isn't your thing, their website also carries such treasures as The Crazy Cat Lady action figure and the Horrified B-Movie Victims figure set.

Construction Crew

Aunt Regina gave the kids a gingerbread house kit on Thanksgiving.  The next 18 hours included a near continuous barrage of pleas of "Can we build the gingerbread house, yet?"  I think Jameson even mentioned it in his sleep a few times.  As much as I wanted to introduce the kids to the world of government bureaucracy and make them get the usual permits, site inspections and utility requests, I went ahead and let them get to work this weekend.  The results were pretty much what I expected from a crew that specializes in finger licking and gumdrop sampling.

As it turns out, this construction team also dabbles in demolition. Now I have the pleasure of a near continuous barrage of pleas of "Can we eat the gingerbread house, yet?"

So pristine.  For now.

Passed the "smell test."

Three heads are better than one?

Measure twice, cut once.

You've got a funny look in your eye, Truman...

There are at least a dozen code violations here.

Fantasy Football

We're starting to get some commitments to the inaugural After Bedtime Football League but we've still got spots available. Email me (at the address at right) for sign up details.




Here are the details:

- It is a 12 team head-to-head league (two divisions) open to any and all parents. First come, first served up until all spots have been filled. If you yourself are not interested, please spread the word.
- If spots are available with less than a week until draft time, remaining spots will be made available to you non-reproducers.
- The draft will be held on September 1st at 8:45 PM Eastern.
- There is no fee to join, but if it goes well this year, maybe next year we'll "make it interesting."
- If you are not available for the draft, you can pre-rank your players and let the computer draft for you.
- If you are interested or have any questions, email me at the address listed to the right.

Community Service

One thing that has definitely been limited by my fathering of children has been my fantasy sports involvement. Basketball was the first to go, though I was never really that into it. Then baseball went by the wayside. Seriously, who has time to make that many lineup changes? Football, however, has been precariously hanging on. Until this year. Now even football could see it's demise and I have my unborn child to thank for that. For you non-fantasy-football-playing readers out there (i.e. productive society), note that most fantasy football drafts are held sometime during the last couple of weeks of August or the first week of September. This time frame also happens to be the sweet spot for when baby number four will likely be born. Actually, it's more like a guarantee. In fact, the most likely scenario would be that just as I'm about to make my first selection of the draft I would get the phone call requesting me to get my ass home because a baby is attempting to vacate my wife's uterus. I'd of course finish making my first pick, but then I'd have to dial in for the rest of the draft trying to stay up to speed between pushes and that would just be a drag for everyone. (Plus, I'd probably get stuck with five shittier than usual wide receivers that I never wanted to begin with.)

So I've already officially bowed out of one of the two fantasy football leagues in which I participate and unless I can find a co-owner who doesn't have a pregnant wife, I may have to drop out of the other one. Which brings me to my community service: I've benevolently decided to start a parents only fantasy football league this year. To accommodate the fathers (and mothers) out there that may be giving up on their fantasy football hopes and dreams, my league will use an online draft (Yahoo!) and will start at night after kiddy bedtimes. Say hello to the After Bedtime Football League. It's the least I can do for all you hardworking moms and dads out there that more than deserve the obnoxious, addictive joy that is fantasy football.




Here are the details:

- It is a 12 team head-to-head league (two divisions) open to any and all parents. First come, first served up until all spots have been filled. If you yourself are not interested, please spread the word.
- If spots are available with less than a week until draft time, remaining spots will be made available to you non-reproducers.
- The draft will be held on September 1st at 8:45 PM Eastern.
- There is no fee to join, but if it goes well this year, maybe next year we'll "make it interesting."
- If you are not available for the draft, you can pre-rank your players and let the computer draft for you.
- If you are interested or have any questions, email me at the address listed to the right.

Birthday Recap

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes and thanks to everyone that came out an celebrated. A special thank you to Julie for supporting my laser tag plans and for taking up most of the parenting duties all day! (And thanks for my Cream of Wheat breakfast!)

Extra special thanks to Mom and Dad (Grandma and Grandpa) for the extended babysitting session so I could go out and act like an 8 year old for a few hours.

And one last thanks to Nick Belle for being a sitting duck.

The Festival of James

Lost in the shuffle of Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, New Year's and Mel Gibson's birthday is...

The Celebration of the Birth of James!

That's right, suckas, it's my birthday today.

I'm sure I'll have some pearls of wisdom to share later this evening after I've had a few Miller High Lifes. In the meantime, I'll be enjoying my birthday breakfast of Cream of Wheat and getting ready for my Laser Tag birthday party. Yeah, that's right. Laser Tag.

May all your birthdays be as sweet as mine!

Peace out!

Tree of Life

I can't believe we never thought of this in college. Though it probably doesn't look as good when made of Milwaukee's Best aluminum cans.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!