Half Marathon Prep

The half marathon is two days away and I'm about as ready for the race as I am for Amelia to start dating. My training has been sporadic at best. I'm as slow as ever. And this 13 mile run will involve much walking. HOWEVER, the most important part of my preparation, my race day playlist, is coming along quite nicely. Given my current conditioning, I'm estimating that I'll need about three hours of motivational tunes. I'm still about thirty minutes short on music and there are a few songs in my current list that need to be replaced because they're really not the right fit for running a road race and/or vomiting on myself before passing out.

So help a brother out and give me some more tune suggestions. The biggies are here already -- Eye of the Tiger, You're the Best, Gonna Fly Now, etc. I seem a little light on Hip Hop, Heavy Metal and Scandinavia, so maybe you can help out there. Sorry, but Eminem's Lose Yourself and Kanye's Stronger have been played to death in my workouts, so they're disqualified. Any new song selections need to meet at least one of the following criteria (and the more criteria met, the better):

1. A solid pavement pounding beat that gets me through at least three minutes of running without realizing it.
2. Running or other goal oriented lyrics. Though death and pain related lyrics are equally acceptable.
3. Main theme in a 1980s feel good movie soundtrack, featured in a Nike commercial or used without the artist's permission at some point in a political campaign.
4. Includes clapping or harmonious shouting. Especially clapping while harmoniously shouting.

***If I add one of your music suggestions to my race day playlist, I will not only give you full credit on the blog, I will also write your name on my race day shirt in black marker as some sort of weird honor that all the other runners will surely mistake for some much more meaningful tribute as to why I'm punishing myself with this athletic endeavor.***


Sweet List of Songs to Listen to Until I Cross the Finish Line or Lose Consciousness, Whichever Comes First
Nothing to Worry About -- Peter Bjorn and John
I Wanna Be Sedated -- Ramones
Battle Without Honor or Humanity -- Tomoyasu Hotei
I Love It -- Icona Pop
Cherry, Cherry -- Neil Diamond
Two -- Lenka
You're the Best -- Joe "Bean" Esposito
Tear It Up -- Yung Wun featuring DMX, Lil' Flip & David Banner
Carry On -- Fun.
Hold Me Back -- Round Table Knights
Elephant -- Tame Impala
Bang On -- The Breeders
I'm Alright (Theme From "Caddyshack") -- Kenny Loggins
Don’t Stop Now -- Guided By Voices
Nuthin' but a "G" Thang -- Dr. Dre
Run With the Wolves -- Prodigy
Ho Hey -- The Lumineers
Gonna Fly Now (Theme from "Rocky") -- Bill Conti
Blood -- The Middle East
The Underdog -- Spoon
Surf Wax America -- Weezer
Sour Cherry -- The Kills
One Foot -- Fun.
Eye of the Tiger -- Survivor
We Will Rock You -- Queen
Everything At Once -- Lenka
Can't Get Enough of Your D+Dang-Da-Dang -- The Taste
Rhythm -- Awol One & Daddy Kev
Jerk It Out -- Caesars
I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked -- Ida Maria
Mrs. Robinson -- Simon & Garfunkel
Serpentine (I Don’t Give A, Pt. 2) -- Peaches
I'm On a Boat (feat. T-Pain) -- The Lonely Island
The Final Countdown -- Europe
Poker Face -- Lady GaGa
Pumpkin & Honey Bunny/Miserlou -- Dick Dale & The Del-Tones
Go for the Exit -- Boston Spaceships
Helena Beat -- Foster the People
My Doorbell -- The White Stripes
Cannonball -- The Breeders
This Too Shall Pass -- OK Go

Your help is greatly appreciated!

Size Matters

Taxation without representation, indeed.  The kids brought in quite the Halloween haul this year and I've had to familiarize them with the "dad tax" on their trick-or-treat bounty.  Unfortunately for them, since I made their costumes and took them on their beggar's night rounds, they fall into a very high tax bracket.  Current tax legislation also applies the "dad tax" to Easter baskets, ice cream cones, bowls of popcorn and, of course, McDonald's french fries.  Sure it sounds like an onerous burden, but c'mon, those piggy back rides and really high pushes on the swings aren't going to pay for themselves.

Freedom isn't free, baby.

Regrettably, it doesn't look like tax rates will be easing any time soon.  Have you seen the atrocities that are being passed off as "fun size" candy these days?  It's a joke. They're an abomination.  The Great Pumpkin must be rolling over in his patch.  And who pays for these crimes?  The children.  I have to dip into their candy bowls dozens of times a day just to keep my blood sugar up.  The kids are left with little else than Tootsie Rolls and marshmallow peanuts.  Maybe a half-melted Jolly Rancher if they're lucky.

I have a feeling things are only going to get worse.

Based on current trends, this will be a "fun size" Snickers in the year 2018.

That Taste Like Frickin' Awesome

At the risk of this starting to look like a baking blog, I will once again try to tempt you into some delicious kitchen work.

I give you, "Muffins that Taste Like Donuts." They're pretty much what the title says. You can find this recipe and variations of it all over the internet. I actually learned it back in my high school culinary arts class taught by Mrs. Mary Ann Bray, who I believe is still teaching the class. I'm all for classes in which you get to eat on a regular basis -- was I destined to be a stay at home dad or what? Mrs. Bray was an excellent cook with enormous hair. I'm guessing she's still an excellent cook and still has enormous hair.

OK, these muffins are incredibly easy to make so you have no excuse not to run to the kitchen right now and whip up a batch. If you can make pancakes, you can make these. My only warning is that it's extremely easy to devour one or two or five of these as soon as they're done baking. We made some the other morning and there was only one left when Julie got home. It was totally the kids' fault.

It's a pretty flexible recipe, so you could probably healthy them up a bit by modifying some ingredients, but where's the fun in that. Besides, I'm going to assume these are already way better than a deep fried donut, so I'm going to put them in the "healthy" column as is.

Muffins that Taste Like Donuts
Muffins
1 3/4 cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/3 cup oil (I used light olive oil)
3/4 cup white sugar
1 egg
3/4 cup milk

Topping
1/2 cup melted butter
3/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350°F. Mix together all the dry stuff. In another bowl, mix together all the wet stuff. Add the wet mixture to the dry mixture. Stir everything together just enough to combine it. (Lumpy is good.) Grease some muffin tins and fill with the mixture. (Those little cupcake papers or foils aren't needed, but go ahead if that's how you roll.) Bake for 20 minutes or so. (If you stick a wooden toothpick in and out of the middle of one muffin and it comes out clean, they're done.) Tip from Mrs. Bray: When baking muffins, fill any empty spots in the muffin tin with water. It protects the muffin tin and will add moisture in the oven to help keep whatever you are baking moist. Meanwhile, mix the sugar and cinnamon for the topping and melt the butter. Once muffins have cooled a little, pop them out with a fork and dip the tops of the muffins into the melted butter and then into the cinnamon sugar mixture. Then start stuffing your face. (Or put them on a cooling rack. Your call.)

And now for the photographic evidence:

I'm telling you these things are good.
I couldn't even snap a photo before Jameson was done with his first one.



The twins ate two each. And that was after having already eaten breakfast.


Butter, cinnamon and sugar. I rest my case.


Make some of your own. Now.

One Benefit of Having Kids

Chocolate chip cookies always sound like a good idea.

So today, we whipped up a batch for no reason other than we wanted to eat some fresh chocolate chip cookies. And I photographed them for no reason other than to make you wish you were eating some fresh chocolate chip cookies.

Enjoy the warm, gooey goodness.