With or Without Beans?

Jell-o? Sure.
Pudding? OK.
Baby oil? Of course.

But chili? Really? Who came up with this one? Was there a sale at Sam's club? Is it the Texas or Cincinnati variety?

This is why North Dixie is one of the most interesting roads in America. If you're ever in Dayton it's a must visit. Though "visiting" with one of the local working girls is purely optional. (If you do, the souvenir you bring home will likely require the application of some special ointment later.)

I wonder if at an event like this it's customary to place saltines in the girls' g-strings? Maybe I'll have to go and find out...

This Can't Be Good

For the past two days I've gone into the twins' room in the morning to find Amelia standing in her crib, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and ready to start her day.

And completely naked.

While I'm pleased that her dexterity is developing quite nicely, this particular routine is disturbing. If she keeps up this morning ritual it's only a matter of time before disaster strikes. For now, I will wake each morning in fear. Mental note: No prunes for Amelia before bedtime.

Naked Nudity

I thought that might get your attention. It's time for the obligatory naked kids in the bathtub shots. Over the course of their lives these photos will be trotted out at key viewing opportunities that maximize embarrassment. For new girlfriends or boyfriends, prom dates, graduation parties, job interviews, political campaigns etc. It's my duty as a parent.