Dr. Jameson

I'm listening to Jameson pretending to be an eye doctor and examining his patient, Darwin...

The first thing he did was show Darwin his license and explain, "I'm Dr. Jameson, 'Professional Eye Doctor. Makes All Eyes Feel Better.' I went to eye doctor school."

Post examination, he had some bad news for Darwin: "I'm going to give you some medicine that will make your eyes better. BUT... it tastes like worms and bugs."

Doctor Visit

Dr. Jameson suggested I get a full check up this morning despite my own assessment that I was feeling fine. Luckily I gave in to his suggestion because Dr. Jameson quickly discovered that I had a bone stuck in my heart. He recommended immediate surgery. I agreed to the procedure. I mean, there was a bone stuck in my heart. What other options did I have? Dr. Jameson declared the procedure a success, though there were some complications. Apparently, during the surgery my heart fell out and Dr. Jameson had to insert a new heart into my stomach. The doctor was a master surgeon, though, and I only required a small band-aid after the operation. I was, quite frankly, a little shocked to find out afterwards that the doctor had also replaced my face and given me a new butt. I have mixed feelings about the results.

Oh, and I got a prize for being such a good patient.