Howling at the Moon

What is with the Twilight madness that seems to have infected every female between the ages of 12 and 79? I thought for sure it would have died down by now, but it's still getting worse. Forget H1N1, this country needs to focus its resources on finding a vaccine for this brain altering disease. (If you're a Cougar, you're in the high risk category, so you'll get first priority.)

Did people actually see the first film? I rented it and attempted to keep an open mind, but it was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. What's with the Robert Pattinson hype? He seems only so-so good looking and I'm guessing he needs help to open peanut butter jars. If spindly and wiry are so damn hot, I should have been seeing a lot more action my freshman year in high school. (Disclosure: Any action my freshman year in high school would technically be "a lot more.")

And this Taylor Lautner guy? Isn't he like 13 years old? The things the Cougars want to do to him... yikes. If 45 year old men had been saying these things about Winnie Cooper Miley Cyrus, for example, people would be in an uproar. Double standard?

If you haven't seen the first teen angst fest known as Twilight, I've put together a recap that will get you up to speed. Now you can walk into New Moon fully prepared without actually subjecting yourself to the first movie.