Oct 9, 2009

Five Years Already?

It was on this date in 2004 that you hit the jackpot, Julie.

It's been five years since we tied the knot and since then I think I've continually exceeded your expectations. Surely you didn't expect me to gain so much muscle weight. I'm certain you never anticipated how passionate I could be about fantasy football. And I know you didn't think it was humanly possible to spend so much time in the bathroom. What can I say -- I'm an overachiever.

But today isn't just about me. It's also about all the things I do for you. I've introduced you to so many wonderful things. Like online first person shooter games. And breakfast cereal for dinner. And dutch ovens. I even cultivated your unconditional love of camping and watching ten straight hours of football on Sundays. How empty would your life seem without me?

Just think of all the personal growth you've achieved with my gentle and persistent coaching. I'm sure that when you eventually learn where exactly the toilet paper belongs in the bathroom you'll only have me to thank. (Hint: It's not on the sink or the back of the toilet.) One day, you too may obsess over refrigerator organization all because of my mentoring. And if you commit to it, I think you have the potential to surpass my own hypocrisy and stubbornness -- traits revered in political circles the world over. These are just a few of my many gifts to you. (I'm what the single ladies out there refer to as "a keeper.")

Sure, it hasn't been all wine and roses. I've gotten pretty adept at anticipating your every need, but sometimes even I make a mistake. Luckily those mistakes are few and far between. Married life is full of challenges, but I'm just as committed as ever to help show you the logical way to overcome those challenges. I know logic doesn't come easy for you, but that's what I'm here for. That's why we make such a great pair.

So here we are, five years in on an already crazy journey. (Seriously, what's up with cranking out four kids already?) Most people probably look at our relationship and scratch their heads. How did Hoolie land such a man? How does such an imbalanced marriage thrive? Well, I just smile and wink at those head scratchers. We're in this marriage for the long haul and I know you've got plenty of time to make it up to me.

Happy anniversary, Julie. There's no one else in this world I'd rather drive crazy. I love ya' lots.


Alexis said...

Happy Anniversary, you guys are really lucky.

p.s. I am really jealous of the quality of your wedding photos. We didn't have the money for a photographer and it really shows in our photos. These photos are great.

Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary James & Julie!!!!


the projectivist said...

"I know logic doesn't come easy for you, but that's what I'm here for."
awwwwwww... Lucky Julie!


happy anniversary you guys!

Trike said...

You are crazy brave to use sarcasm on a wife who can kick your nads into orbit.

And I have the one wedding photo of you two that no one else has, so ha.

Kelly George said...

You are hilarious, James! I had no idea you two had been married only five years. Happy anniversary!!

James said...

Thanks for the congratulations guys. I do love our wedding pictures. They were ridiculously expensive, but five years later they seem worth it.

Yes, P, Julie is very, very lucky.

Doug - What sarcasm? And what photo?

Kelly, sometimes it feels like we've been married for much, much, much longer.

Trike said...

Remember when I took my camera up for communion and snapped you guys? No one else thought to get that shot.

I am a unique snowflake, yes I am.

Anonymous said...

I loved that!! Not an ounce of soppy lovey dovey stuff, but somehow more genuine and moving than anything I've ever read before.

Well done you guys! Here's to a happy life together.

Anonymous said...

Your wedding photos are really great. It still bums me out that I missed it:) Happy 5th Anniversary James and Julie!


Jim said...

Still have gotten no props for coming up with the basketball team picture idea. Just like estasketch and chief wahoo. But the black and white photo of us makes up for it.

Kirst said...

Congrats guys, and happy anniversary!

Chatter said...

Congratulations!! Glad I was able to be there for it. And thanks for staying one kid ahead of us (it makes us seem more under control :)

Happy Anniversary!