Unfortunately for me, Amelia already likes to argue. And she doesn't follow the rules of arguing as spelled out in any of the 117 Yahoo! relationship articles on the top ten ways to fight fairly and maintain a healthy marriage. Does she not get relationship advice from the internet like the rest of western civilization?
Most of my arguments with Amelia occur when she's been busted for one misdeed or another. Her first line of defense is to remind me of my own failures as a father, husband or human being in general. She apparently catalogs these things for later use when I confront her about her actions. Sadly, she's quite good at it -- she may be the one who wrote on the wall but somehow I'm the one in timeout for sneaking a piece of candy before dinner two nights ago. She hasn't even reached her fifth birthday and she's already a formidable opponent. I really don't need more women in my life who can run verbal circles around me at will. By the time she's thirteen I may just go into hiding.
I often use this blog to document the things my kids say, but mere written words would not do justice to Amelia's retort from a few days ago. I was reprimanding her for something (which I've already forgotten -- see how good she is at this???) when suddenly she turned into Jerry Stiller with a photographic memory of my past transgressions. Here is my impression of her response.
What could I say? Sunflower seeds are disgusting.