Mar 31, 2011

When You Gotta Go



I was clearing out some photos from my phone when I came across this gem. I snapped this shot from my in-law's dining room earlier this year. At first glance it doesn't look like much, but take a closer look at that Jeep parked outside the house. I know it's hard to make out, but you're looking at a case of toddler public indecency facilitated by this gentleman, presumably his dad, in the dead of winter.

I just happened to be looking out the window when I saw this car pull off the main road and park outside the house. I didn't recognize the vehicle and was a little curious as to why someone would stop in such an odd location. My curiosity was further piqued when the driver rushed out of the car, ran around to the opposite rear door, dove inside,  and then emerged with a child of about 2 or 3 years of age. Before I could even contemplate what I was witnessing, the driver yanked the kid's pants down and then stood on lookout while the boy urinated all over the back tire of the Jeep. Then, as quick as they arrived, they were loaded in the car and back on their way.

Having been knee deep in potty training twins at the time, I felt a certain affinity towards this father, a man backed into a corner and forced into action. He would never know that I had witnessed their untimely call of nature, but nonetheless I gave him a heartfelt, silent head nod as they drove off into the distance. Nice work, dude. You kept the pee off of the $200 Britax car seat, junior gets a few Skittles as a reward, and you get to continue on to your destination unfettered. And this never gets mentioned to Mom. Ever.

Do you know how much of a royal pain in the ass it is to get those car seat covers off so they can be washed Seriously. I can change the oil in my car faster than I can clean a car seat.

I've had plenty a close call in the car while the twins were potty training (and a couple of actual accidents). Because of housing and school arrangements, we were in the car for a couple hours a day during that time when the twins were ditching the diapers for underwear. Let's just say that Truman and Amelia have gotten more than a few frantic Ray Lewis-style pep talks as we cruised around in the minivan.

"You can do this! You ARE a big kid. You're going to hold it in until we get there! You're going to keep your pants dry! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! WE MUST PROTECT THESE UNDEROOS!!!"

1 comment:

Charity Donovan said...

GREATNESS!!! I have been known to promise a full-on candy throw down if a car seat cover was kept dry. I can totally relate & LAUGH!!!