Feb 14, 2011

Free and Clear

I'm doing laundry in the buff tonight.

Believe me, it's not a pretty picture. (Amelia recently informed me that my belly is "pushy.") Why the naked chores? Well, it's not a kinky Valentine's Day gift for Julie or anything. It's because I HAVE NO CHOICE. Washing laundry has got to be the single lamest resposibility that comes with the at home parent career. It's monotonous. It's soul sapping. It. Never. Ends. And the biggest thorn of all is that even when you put that very last load in the washer you still aren't done. You can't storm your aircraft carrier, "mission accomplished" banners a-waving, because the sad fact remains that at that moment you are still wearing more clothes that need to be washed.

But tonight I will claim victory. Every last soiled garment, bib, pillow case -- and all of their bretheren -- will be laundered. Everything down to the socks on my feet will be cleaned. And I will have my glory. Well, that's assuming I can convince Julie that I need her to take her clothes off for more noble purposes than as a kinky Valentine's Day gift for me.

Oh, and please pray that Julie's parents don't come home while I'm doing my victory dance in front of their washer and dryer. No one wants that mission accomplished.


Chatter said...

Freaking VOMIT.
p.s. I'm doing laundry as well but with my clothes on.

Anonymous said...

I've often thought the same; as long as you are wearing clothes while doing laundry you are never truly done. Don't forget the kiddos, they all have to sleep naked in order for your mission to be accomplished.


James said...

Chandra, don't be mad just because Nater won't do naked laundry for you.

You are right, Melissa, but they are all going to wear those clothes again tomorrow, so I'm not counting them.

Kelly G said...

Amen, Brother!!!

Charity Donovan said...


SeanZie said...

My wife is always complaining the laundry is never done, and also laments the fact that the 'mission is never accomplished' as well. I am going to suggest to her that she try out the naked laundry so she can do a victory dance in front of the machine.


James said...

Maybe we should a national Naked Laundry Day. You know, to get the ball rolling.

Anonymous said...

Be careful!!!!


You're too pretty to go to prison.