Aug 11, 2010

Jedi Mind Tricks

Truman and Amelia love to get into silly arguments and fights. No subject or object seems to be off limits. Even imaginary ones (which I'll get to in a moment) are fair game. I'm not surprised and I'm pretty sure it's especially common among siblings that are close in age (or in this case, the exact same age). But even I have had to laugh at some of the things they've been arguing over lately.

One afternoon I was loading all of the kids into the minivan for some typical afternoon jaunt to the park, the grocery store, or some other routine destination.  I was putting Amelia in her seat while she jabbered away about who knows what.  As I finish buckling her seatbelt, she decides to announce, "I'm talking to dad."  Truman, who previously did not seem to be paying attention to her ramblings, shoots back, "Noooo, I'm talking to dad."  This, of course, quickly turns into a shouting match over who is in fact talking to dad.  At this point, I close the minivan door and head back into the house to get Jameson.  Back at the car, I slide open the door only to find that the argument has continued despite the fact that I've been nowhere near them for the last few minutes.  "No I'm talking to dad."  "NO, I'm talking to dad."  "NO, I'M TALKING TO DAD."

Just recently, Amelia banged up her shin while climbing some stone steps.  It wasn't too bad, but it left a nice little bruise.  The morning after her injury she's investigating her leg during breakfast.  She reminds me of her calamity saying, "I hurt my leg."  Not to be outdone, but without actually having an injury of his own, Truman also declares, "I hurt my leg." This infuriates Amelia and once again we are off to the races, this time with a shouting match of "I HURT MY LEG!!!"

Now this next altercation is the one that blows my mind.  This is the bottom of the barrel when it comes to pointless fights.  It's dinnertime and Truman and Amelia are seated in highchairs directly next to each other which puts them in arms reach of one another.  While watching dinner being prepared they begin to pretend that they each have a set of imaginary tongs in their hands.  IMAGINARY.  Neither of them actually have anything in their hands.  Nothing.  Everyone is being pleasant as Truman and Amelia interact with Mom and carry out various tasks with their imaginary tongs.  Until.  Until Amelia decides to "steal" Truman's imaginary tongs.  She grabs them out of his hand and then waves them in front of his face while chanting, "I've got your tongs.  I've got your tongs."  Truman gets upset, lunges for Amelia and grabs his imaginary tongs back while scolding, "NO MAYA."  This only encourages Amelia who quickly snatches the imaginary-invisible-nonexistent-ridiculously-not-real tongs again and starts up with her "I've got your tongs" taunt.  I cannot believe this is happening.  They are actually fighting over objects that are simply ideas conjured up in their little two year old brains.  But then it gets worse.  Truman swipes his imaginary tongs back from Amelia once again.  This time, however, she doesn't make a play to get them back from him.  At least not physically.  Which is pretty much impossible anyway since THEY'RE NOT REAL to begin with.  No, this time Amelia just looks over at him and says, "Truuuuuuman."  He looks up at her.  She starts moving her hand as if she's dangling something in the air.  "Truuuuman.  I've got your tonnnnngs."  He looks down at his already empty hands as if his nonexistent tongs had suddenly vanished into thin air.  And he flips out.  "NOOOOO, MAYA!!!!  MY TONGS!!!!"  He scrambles to get them back.  Before he has time to relish his reclaimed treasure Amelia summons them back into her hands and with the biggest, most evil grin on her face begins her taunts anew.  Realizing his tongs have been magically pilfered yet again, Truman flies into a rage while demanding I intervene.  "Daaaaaad.  Maya take my tongs!  No! No! No!"  I'm not even exactly sure what he wanted me to do.  Her knowledge of the Force is obviously great, but I had to step in and put an end to this.  So I just did what I usually do.  I took away both of their imaginary tongs and set them on top of the refrigerator until after dinner.  Then no one was happy.  Except me.

Can't wait to see what they'll fight over next.


Trike said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Amelia is the Chosen One who will bring balance to the Force.

(Hands down one of your funniest posts. Verily doth I doff mine hat to thee.)

James said...

She's unbelievable and I'm truly frightened for the future.

And thanks for the doffing. The kids are a never ending supply of funny. I just have to remember (and make time) to write it down.

Hoolie said...

My poor Truman. He's already owned by the woman in his life, and he's not even married.

This was far funnier to watch.

Bill Dwight of FamZoo said...

Those are classic (and great writing too).

Sibling arguments can remain absurd even as kids grow up. When my brother and I were teens, we had a pretty serious fight. My brother tried to punch me in the face, but he missed, hit the wall, and broke his thumb (actually, it was the last fight we ever had).

What important thing were we fighting over? Who would get to use the downstairs bathroom first.

Chatter said...

This story was perfect!! And it's only the beginning :)

sulkygirl said...

*still laughing*

how's her hairs looking these days?
still bewdiful?

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said... Hilarious, and I'm sure a little maddening...but wow! at the imaginations!