- Use protection.
- Stop drinking soda. Unless there is rum or ice cream in it. Or both.
- Only use that toilet paper with lotion in it. My ass deserves only the best.
- Become literate again -- finish at least twelve books. Harold and the Purple Crayon and such do not count.
- At any given time, limit the DVR to recording no more than eight shows that I will never, ever, ever watch.
- Only eat bacon on odd days or days that are divisible by two.
- Find out what it's like to go to bed before midnight.
- Redesign this ugly ass standard blog template.
- Create the sweetest iPhone app ever and sell it on iTunes and make billions of dollars and buy the Chicago Bears and fire everyone from Jerry Angelo on down.
- Find one redeeming quality about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. There's got to be something.
- Face the fact that McDonald's is not a healthy lunch just because I got the Apple Dippers.
- Find out what it's like to eat a vegetable more than once in one day.
- Go un-bald.
- Beat Julie at something. Ideally soccer, but anything will do.
- Build something that can actually be used/displayed somewhere in the house besides a dark corner of our unfinished basement.
- Potty train the twins. Or teach them to change their own diapers. (And Darwin's diaper while they're at it.)
- Finish painting that friggin' Sponge Bob project that I started for Jameson ages ago.
- Either get in shape or get my own mini-series on the Discovery Health channel. No more of this spare tire purgatory. Shit or get off the pot, so to speak.
- Appreciate my wife and kids at least enough that when I'm ninety and I wander out of the house and get lost that they'll come looking for me in a matter of hours, not a matter of days or weeks.
- Use protection.
Jan 19, 2010
And without further delay... my 2010 Plan for World Domination.