Jul 8, 2009

Warning: NSFL (Not Safe for Lunch)

OK, if you're about to eat or are particularly squeamish, turn back now. I'll post some cutesy kid photos later and you can pretend this post never happened. Seriously. Stop reading.

Different strokes for different folks.

People do a lot of things that I might consider crazy, but hey, to each their own. I'm not going to judge you. I'm not going to tell you what you should and shouldn't do. Willing to pay a spa hundreds of dollars so you can stick your feet in a bucket of flesh eating little fish? Enjoy! Want to get a tattoo of a penis on your forehead? Go for it! Thinking about growing a lame ass beard for no apparent reason? More power to you! (Seriously, more power to you. Because growing a beard is effing rad.)

But just because I respect your right to do the allegedly absurd doesn't mean I won't dry heave at the mere thought of your actions.

Like, say, the act of eating placentas.

It may sound crazy, but placenta (or "afterbirth") eating isn't, by any means, a new idea. It's a traditional practice in some cultures. Placentas have also been used in ancient Chinese medicines since, um, ancient times. And cows have been down with eating their own placentas for years (and not just the hippie cows, either). So, this isn't some trendy "I drive a Prius and eat placenta" fad -- there's actually some history to it.

By the way, for those of you that don't know (I didn't know before Jameson was born), the placenta is this big organ thingy that grows inside pregnant mammals and pumps all the life juices from the mom through the umbilical cord to the baby. Once the baby is delivered, this organ has to be delivered, hence the name "afterbirth." Take all the beauty and splendor and miraculousness of a brand new baby and then think of the exact opposite. Then dunk it in blood salsa. That's the placenta.

Well, for whatever reason, I've seen this topic discussed a few times recently. At first I thought I dreamt this all up as a result of drinking and watching too much Man vs. Food and Dr. G: Medical Examiner. It's very real, though. Technically, it's called placentophagy. The people that do it typically believe the placenta provides nutritional value and/or prevents postpartum depression. In my three and a half minutes of Yahoo! searching, I couldn't find any medical research that supported these claims. My own personal and very scientific research on the matter has shown that, in person, a placenta looks like a Louis Vuitton handbag made out of a horse's spleen and heart and I would rather eat nothing but peas for every meal for the rest of my life than take one bite of a placenta. (But Julie, I'll give you twenty bucks if you eat yours.)

For those of you that haven't already passed out, thrown your laptop out the window or switched to watching two girls, one cup, then you can further dive into this topic with the links below. And for those of you that like to eat placenta, good for you. You're gross. But you're gross and doing your own thing.

Time Magazine: Afterbirth: It's What's for Dinner

BBC News: Why Eat a Placenta?

For those of you who just want to see what it's like to cook one of these bad boys, enjoy the following video.


my name is Amanda said...

Put that recipe book on the shelf next to this one.

(Also, I did not watch the video - the still of that image alone hits the red on the barf-o-meter.)

wesley's mom (sue) said...

I don't know why I couldn't just take your word for it and turn away. But I had to look, and now I have to go throw up. OH. MY. GOSH.
That is disgusting.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Trike said...

You are what you eat.

Gandhi and Nehru and that lot drank their own urine.

Jules said...

Hmmmm......Wow. Um......