Day one of stay-at-home dad life is now under my belt. Technically, I stayed home yesterday, too, but Jameson had spent the night at his grandparents' house and wasn't home most of the day. Monday was kind of like spring training with just the twins under my care. It was a piece of cake. It was so easy that it makes me wonder what the hell I thought was so tough about Jameson back when he was the lone offspring. Man it was easy back then. No offense to you new parents out there, but the difference between having one kid and having multiple kids is night and day. It's like the difference between Batman: The Movie and The Dark Knight. It's like the difference between Rock Band the video game and The Who the actual band. Or the difference between the Cincinnati Bengals and any other franchise in the entire NFL. They're completely different. So anyway, with Jameson out of the house, I couldn't consider Monday my first real stay-at-home day.
I should be in bed right now (I can barely keep my eyes open), but I wanted to get this day on the record. Seeing as this is a journal of sorts, I hope I get the chance to post more often as this new life unfolds and I definitely want to document the first day.
The first day. Today was a different story. If yesterday was just spring training, today was midseason at least. All three of the kids were bringing the high heat. (More to come on "high heat.")
Things started off pretty well. Pretty easy morning. Smooth breakfast. We were at the park by 9:30 AM. By the time we got back from the park, my head was already swelling as I began rehearsing my dad of the year speech. Julie checked in at noon and the kids were all fed and the twins were already asleep. She asked how things were going and I believe my exact response was, "awesome!"
I'm such a fool. The second half of the day had me considering dusting off my resume and checking out Monster.com. The twins fought INCESSANTLY. Truman was being an incredible bully and Amelia screamed her head off every time he got near her. And Truman threw a fit whenever I wouldn't let him have his way (i.e. stealing toys from Amelia). Jameson was a downward spiral with every request I made setting him off. And to top it off, Truman was biting anything that moved today. No wait, that wasn't the topper. Remember the "high heat" reference? The AC quit working this afternoon amidst some lovely, humid 85 degree Ohio weather. That was particularly good news for my neighborhood since they could now hear all the screaming and crying coming from our open windows. I'm sure I'm making quite an impression in my new stay at home career. I managed to get an uninspiring dinner prepared just in time for a few tornadoes to roll through town (Ohio weather rules) and send us all to the basement for the evening. I can't think of a more relaxing way to finish a stressful day than to eat sloppy joes on a card table crammed into a cluttered, unfinished basement. At least it was a few degrees cooler down there.
But hey, tomorrow is a new day. I have complete faith in my ability to set an entirely new set of parenting lows tomorrow. If I play my cards right, my kids should be completely maladjusted by the end of the summer.
Bring it on.
PS - Heat, humidity, broken AC units, pregnant women and sleeping do not mix well.
Update: I would also like to point out that Julie had warned me the previous day that the AC seemed to be malfunctioning. I said she was crazy. So I must admit that JULIE WAS RIGHT and I WAS WRONG.