May 15, 2009

Time to Cram

In my entire life I don't think I ever once studied for a test more than a day or two in advance. And that's if I even studied at all. It's partly because I'm lazy and a world class procrastinator. And it's partly because I always did well enough on the tests anyway. (I'm one of those annoying pricks that never had to try very hard on your run-of-the-mill traditional school tests.) Anyway, when it came to studying (or homework, or projects, or reports) you could pretty much bank on the fact that if there was any work to be done, yours truly was doing it, at the earliest, during an all night cram session. Or, at the latest, right before the bell rang for class. ("Please put your books away. Now. James. JAMES.")

Well, old habits are hard to break. Except now I don't take tests in school. Now I have doctor and dentist visits for which I can procrastinate. That's right, I cram for my physical exams. For example, in two weeks my doctor will be drawing blood for a routine checkup. She'll check my cholesterol (and whatever else doctors check) as part of a general health assessment. And to prepare, I'll spend the next two weeks on a rabid health kick to try and beat the system. Yes, I'm trying to fake my health. Rather than leading a moderately healthy lifestyle, I'll cram and try to fool my doctor. I'll run. I'll eat fruits and vegetables like mad. I'll get more sleep. Sad, isn't it? It's like, if I can at least whip myself into shape in two weeks, then in my mind that means I'm at least healthy enough. If I were sane, I'd want an accurate assessment of my health. Instead, I just want to get an "A" so I can falsely justify bacon cheeseburgers for the next twelve months. Am I the only idiot that thinks like this?

(You should see how much floss I go through the week before a cleaning.)

Photo: Apple by ChiareZZa via deviantART

1 comment:

Chatter said...

I love this picture. Very cool!
Good luck cramming. I thought you were referring to something else when I read the title.